The Life of Me: Collector's Edition

A man of refinement and taste...yep, that's me!

Speaking of refinement and taste, I totally showed off my refinement and tastiness last night! Allow me to explain: The guys that accompanied me for work here in Colorado have families. They were pretty disappointed that they would have to stay another week away from home. So, in an effort ot boost morale among the group, we had a guys night out! We started it off at Hooters where I proceeded to imbibe the alchoholic beverages while drunkenly and shamelessly flirting with the large-breasted teenage waitresses as they signed my brand-spanking new Hooters calendar. I'm normally a wine man, but I was at Hooters and I wasn't about to sport a skinny wine glass in the midst of loud, lecherous, beer-swilling, sports-watching men. Do as the Romans do! But I can't understand why people like beer in the first damn place. I ordered two kinds: a Breckenridge avalanche (a local flavor) and a Killians Red. And you know what? They both tasted the same! Blech! Plus, the alchohol content in beer is way lower than that in wine, and it tastes so much better. Oh well, at least we all had fun drinking, talking and gawking.

Afterward we went to a local gentlemen's club (re: strip club!!). I was pretty drunk, but still lucid at that point. When I entered the club, I immediately flashed my ID and cover $$ to some big guy right inside the vestibule who I thought was the bouncer. Turns out he was just another customer simply talking on his cell phone. Oops! We proceeded to sit down and order drinks. I bought the first couple of rounds because I still felt guilty for dragging the guys into this seemingly endless job in Colorado. Anyway, I proceeded to imbibe the Fat Tire and drunkenly and shamelessly flirt with the large-breasted teenage dancers who happened my way--each of whom were all too happy to relieve me of my hard-earned coin. Now, being in Colorado I didn't expect much ethnic diversity amongst the dancers, and I was right. I prefer Asian women, and there was, like, one Filipino dancer there. So you know I was up for that!!! But the remaining caucasian dancers weren't too bad. Turns out that many that I talked to were from California and still do some occassional work out there. Go figure. The last dance I got that night proved to be the most interesting. It was from a long-haired brunette with vinyl boots and a manic gleam in her eye. You know...I've never been nibbled, stepped on, or choked with a boot during a dance before, but strangely enough, I didn't mind.

And that was my Friday night.

Overall, guys night out was a success. It was the least I could do for them in light of having them come out to help me on this job. I hope you won't judge me too harshly, gently readers. Debauchery on this scale is something that I only occassionally partake in. The hangover isn't too bad, but I wonder where I put my driver's license...?

posted by anthony fuego @ 11:16 AM