No help when you need it.
Why is it that every time I need help or advice about something, everyone I seek out seems inconveniently unavailable or ignorant on the subject? Last night, for example, I needed help figuring out how to deal with a (very) minor legal infraction. And for you nosy readers out there, no, it wasn't for possession of child pornography, nor for possession of pot, nor for a traffic ticket. Sheesh. Anyways, I try calling my best buddy Charlie. He gives me some shitty nonsensical answers b/c he's out getting drunk with his buddies and trying to hit on some byatch in San Francisco. Okay--can't hate on him for trying to get some. So then I call cousin Bunny. She's out at some social function and is busy. Useless. So then I call Sister #2, who doesn't answer. How typical. Then I try my good buddy from NE (no, not you Joe, though I should have tried). She can't give me a clear answer. I try Random Mike. No good. I try several other people in my cellular phonebook. All dumb on my query. Hell, I even call up my old First Sergeant on his duty cell phone. And he DOES NOT ANSWER. Holy flying horseshit, Batman! It's pretty much a First Sergeant's duty to be super-receptive to his cell phone; looks like someone wasn't doing his job. Go Air Force. Whatever.Anyway, the matter in which I required assistance is immaterial to this rant. The point is this: emperical evidence has shown that whenever I need help most in anything at any time...it will never come.
I think I'm going to keep track of how often this happens. The quantification of misery should make for an interesting study.
posted by anthony fuego @ 11:12 PM
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